I am FAT!
Now stay with me and all of my self help guru friends are saying, “Well that isn’t what you should say to yourself. That isn’t inspiring or positive talk.”
Yes I agree but there are times in my life, when I have to take a serious look at my situation. Being very self-aware. I am not 100% perfect on this but I am getting much better.
Now when I say I am fat, I am not someone who eats fast food or drinks soda or drinks alcohol or eats tons of candy or lives off sugary foods(hmm, well this one might be true) or is extremely obese.
I don’t know what it feels like not to be able to fit through doors or in booths or hiding food in my drawers or having people judging me because of my size(only my ridiculous good looks) or thinking about having those surgeries to bring everything back into control.
I am not someone who has ever thrown up after eating or gone long periods of time without eating.
I only know my situation.
But when my 34inch pants are tight and I unable to buckle them because I have spent the last year doing less exercise, eating whatever the hell I want…for me, I am FAT.
I have spent endless hours, judging myself against the fitness people online, beating myself up about eating one more chocolate chip cookie, looking in the mirror and telling myself, “I have to lose these 10 pounds”, or telling myself I am going to do something and decide to do nothing.
I could list an endless amount of excuses why I haven’t done anything about it…blah, blah, blah.
But I am not going to do that.
I am the one that controls what I do each day in my life, no one puts food in my mouth, no one stands at the gym door and keeps me out, no one hides my workout shoes, the monster under the bed doesn’t eat my super crazy expensive Lululemon clothes, and those darn chocolate chip cookies don’t walk into belly.
The past 8 years, I have learned how I change myself. I first decide I want to change, then it usually takes 6 months to a year for that to actually start to happen. But now I have it down to about a month or so but every situation is different. In this case, I am talking about body stuff and it takes longer.
Last month, I told Kate it is time to really change my food habits. And of course she said, “Honey, you are not fat.” Hmm, my pants would say something different. Sometimes, if the person can handle it or if they can’t, being super direct is money in the bank.
Kate could have said this, “Well honey, I have noticed you have been enjoying those amazing chocolate cookies quite a bit lately and maybe you have put on a few pounds. It is alright with me, it is really how you feel and that you know what you are doing. Oh yeah, if you ever want to have sex with me again, drop those extra 15lbs.”
Pretty sure that would be effective.
It isn’t just about the food, it is about the way I want to feel, the way I talk to myself about my body, the way I want to feel walking into a room or on a beach, the movement my body will be doing, the sex we are having, and frankly what habits am I going to teach my daughter.
I went to this gym by our house two days ago to get my fat butt back in shape. I walked in at 10:30am, it was me and 30+ people over the age of 60 (not exactly sure how old, I am guessing).
I came home and told Kate I have to find a new place to workout. There is no way I can workout here. I enjoy a lot of action when I workout, rough and tumble places. This was a bit more slow moving.
Then I woke up yesterday and said, “Time to go workout.” I went back and decided, maybe I can be an inspiration for someone at the gym. Or they can be an inspiration for me. Completely different mindset and workout happened, really enjoyed it. Simple shift and change the course of my day.
In one year from now, I will no longer be a fat ass, it won’t take that long but I am a long term thinker.
If I am still a fat ass one year from now, I will send everyone reading this $10.00. And I love money so the last thing I am going to do because I couldn’t stop eating chocolate chip cookies.
It isn’t about eliminating food groups(sometimes it is if the diet is McDonalds and soda) or creating some sort of strict diet(did a crazy program getting ready for the wedding last year and it was horrible, looked great, felt like crap).
When it comes to working out, I am going to have some guidance but do the things I want to do. I will have to get pushed and push myself to have results. I work better with someone telling me my daily program.
When it comes to food, eating what my body is calling for that day. Of course, eating less and eating lots of veggies and chicken will help you lose weight. I am tired of living like that, I want to create art with my food and be someone who really loves what I am putting in my mouth. It is a completely different way to think about it.
Listening to what our bodies what is the most powerful thing we can do. I watched Kate during pregnancy and post pregnancy, live this way. She tapped into her body and decided what she wanted to eat that day. It was pretty amazing.
Our society tells us daily, you are unable to make decisions for yourself. You need this drug or eat this food or do this workout or look like this or no one will love you. You have to drive this car or live in a big house or be on this social network or live your life through this celebrity.
That stuff doesn’t matter in the grand plan of life, doing whatever the hell you want every single day, does.
Time is the only thing that matters because you can’t create more.
The more self-aware I am, the more time I will create, the more fun I will have, the healthier I will be, more enjoyable workouts, my business will grow more, I will grow more, the more time with my daughter I will have, I will be a better husband, the better sex we will have, I won’t have to send you $10, life will be all around better and most important….
I will be a non FAT badass!
